I’m not human. And I miss it. I miss it more than anything in the world. But there’s only so much hurt a man can take. - Damon Salvatore

Haven't really been blogging properly since CNY eehehehe. Hell lot of stuff to do. The applications for BRATS and GYLS are driving me crazy. I feel so intimidated by all these stuff, and there are days when i think i dont even qualify to apply. :(

March exams have been moved forward to 3rd. Sukan has been posponed to june or july. NOOOO. I am seriously thinking of quitting the marching team cuz now i have sooo many things to do. Oh oh and I signed up for water polo! go meeeee i am so awesome! :DD Now i have an excuse to exercise bwahahahahaha.

Okieees i started this post two hours ago and i just wrote two paragraphs. great.

I CANT FIND THE ONLINE APPLICATION FORM FOR BRATS NOW.

shit.

gotta go google it. blog later.

ciao.

TVD

Hahahahaha TVD is getting more and more awesome every week! I am so addicted to it. :DD

Okay school reopens tomorrow and i have no idea if i’ve finished all my homework. I just sped through my homework yesterday, and i dont know if i’ve missed out anything. HAH. So much for my ‘no procrastination this holidays’ mindset. D: NOOOO I DONT WANA GO BACK TO SCHOOL!!! I bet our headmistress is gonna give us a friggin loooong lecture during assembly tomorrow. Ah well, i shall sleep then. :P

Went to ana’s house today to spend the last day of CNY. Woohooo Tap tap revenge is so fun and rachel lau is so pro at it! she practically killed me off. D: Oh, and ME ISH VERY FAT NOW! I gained 2kg during CNY, ppl. I dont think im gonna fit into my pinafore! *cries*

Random picture of me, so my blog doesnt look boring. Hahahahaha i love my baby guitar, though i suck at it. :(

So close, yet so far.

I never realized the true meaning of these words till now. Yesterday night, or rather, this morning felt like a dream. It was a really good dream, till i messed it up with my usual blundering and crapping and giving inappropriate responses to spoil everything. I really dont know what’s it about you that gets me. I dont know why i can tell you everything, even my innermost thoughts and secrets, when i usually have a mental block to protect myself from getting hurt.  You remind me of myself sometimes. It was my bad yesterday. I should have let those walls down completely. I shouldnt have been so ignorant. I shoudnt have laughed and joked about being a lesbian. IM SO SORRY AND I SO REGRET IT. I wish i could turn back time. :((

*bangs head on table*

Why cant i turn back time?

*continues banging head*

As shintien would say, WASTED.

*bangs head harder*

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT TO DO NOW?

 

 

After all this time. I thought i was over you. I was so wrong.  :(

Confessions of a Shopaholic

Hey peeps, i know it's kinda late, but

HAPPY CNY! :DD

My cousins are here, and we're all rotting at my house. D: I cant believe that we didnt go anywhere to 'bai nian' this year except at other cousin's houses. Homework still not done. Few more questions of add maths and a chinese essay to go. Wow how awesome am I?

Anyway this is going to be an emo post. I feel really really depressed all of a sudden. I have this sudden feeling to be, well, LOVED. Am i really that shallow? Is wanting to be loved such a bad thing? Am i really THAT lack of attention? ISH. *flops down onto table and buries head in hands* I feel like breaking down and crying. WHATTHEHELL IS WRONG WITH ME?! :'((

You're the only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star

i painted my nails for CNY! woooooh! SEE. They're BLING! :D

My right hand's no good though cuz i cant paint well with my left hand.

Oh well.

(oh and sorry for the crappy webcam quality guys. i think my room's too dark or something)

Tomorrow is the first day of CNY holidays, technically speaking. I still have lots of tuition homework to complete, not to mention a whole novel to finish reading before school reopens. Ugh. I dont know where i'll find the time.

Anyway. Today's chamber was awesome! :D although we cellos kept going out of tune. == Bahahaha went early to accompany wengkin to talk and yumcha. Weeeheeee. :) Blue Danube and Emperor Waltz rock! So does Divertimento! :)))

Yiyin's house for steamboat tomorrow! woohh cant wait! :)

Hmmmmm not much really to blog about. Just wanted to update here. OH AND I WANA WATCH TVD S2E12 SO BADLYYY! :( but im just too lazy to wait for it to load. heh heh heh. Well i did, actually. Then i accidentally closed the window, so, lazy to load again.

List of homework to do:

• Add maths
• Chemistry tuition homework
• Chinese tuition ESSAY. (noooooooooo)

Account tuition early morning tomorrow. I guess I'd better go to sleep now. Bye peeps. :)

When nothing goes right, go left.

It's a helluva Sunday today.

1. I banged my toe on the edge of my bed and it hurts like hell now.
2. I went breakfast-less cuz my cat played with my egg and broke it. ==
3. I had to clean up after her cuz she walked all over the kitchen with egg on her paws. LOL.
4. Mom wont let me go chamber cuz she wants to clean up the house and she's lazy to fetch me.

(Okay i dont really think the last one was really relevant HAHAHA)

So yeah. What prompted me to blog today? I dont really know, as I still have tons of homework due tomorrow. The teachers are giving homework like they think we have 48 hours a day to complete them. :/ I gave up on add maths last night, as did xinlin. It took me 2 hours to do 6 questions. :O

12.5/15 for chinese oral yesterday. I was the first one and was so nervous. And i kept mumbling like hell. Should i re-do? PLEASE. I need advice! :(

OH. I remembered what I wanted to blog about today.
Technically this isnt any of my business, but it's been bothering me a lot lately, so i shall vent here. Okay. *takes deep breath* Here goes:

iseriouslydontunderstandwhyyouredoingthis. ihateitwhenyoulietome.

doyouevenrealizewhatyouredoingnow? howmuchyouvechanged? maybeyoudont,cuzyoureinvolved. butiseeitveryclearly. doyouhaveanyideahowlongivebeenholdingbackandnotsayinganything?

ijustkeepmymouthshutcuzidontwantthistoruinourfriendship.

youknowwhoyouare.

Okay much better now. :) I wasted the whole morning talking on facebook. Thankyouu awesome friend who listened to me the whole morning and got kicked out of the game just cuz you were listening to me. (okay serious sentence structural error here. whatever) heh heh heh. I really apprecciate it :)

On to happier topics. RACHELLAU is coming back on the 1st! Hah i miss my awesome wifey so much! I have so many ppl to meet and catch up on during CNY. ONE MORE WEEK. Just one more week. :) I dont even know if mom will let me hangout. :/ Awww i miss the holidays, but on the other hand, i kinda enjoy school days. Well, minus the problems I've been facing lately. School days may be hectic and busy, but i feel like my days are well-spent, as opposed to me lazing around for the whole day during the holidays.

OH and im marching for sports day this year! Bahahaha FAITHCHAN and XUEER! GO RED TEAM! :D Our commanders are awesome. Yanning is so yeng bwahahahaha. I got dark after two hours in the hot sun. :O I wanted to be tan, but I never knew it was so effective HAHAHAHA. So yeah. No more going cap-less, sunblock-less and trackbottom-less the next time I march. Im so looking forward to sports day now. ;)

I think I've ranted enough here. Im gonna go do my homework now.

Later, people. :)

C'est La Vie

Special post for an awesome friend:

MY GAY WIFE RACHELLAU IS GOING TO SINGAPORE TO STUDY THIS WEEKEND. Dang Rachel Im gonna miss you SOOOOOOOOO much wey! I kinda wish you were staying, but at the same time, I want you to go too. Ish. Contradicting much? :( No more fashion talk, music talk, golf club study groups, cursing teachers. No more watching you fall alseep in science class. Xiaohui and I are so gonna miss fighting over you! :((( Aihh. When i go down to singapore we go shopping together kay? ;) I ♥ you LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS! :))

One week, and counting.

I survived the first week of school without any major complications.

WHOOOOOH GO ME! :D

The first week is actually orientation, which basically means sticking our butts on the cold, hard, cement floor of MPH for 6++ hours a day, listening to the counseller crap on 'sayang mama'. WTH.

But luckily most of our class is together. Classmates for 10 years, lychee and xinlin! :DD

Form four is damn tiring. Afternoon and night tuition on most days. Im already beat by the time i get home at night. I dont know where I'll find the time and energy to do homework once lessons really begin. :l

Oh,I think Im gonna do +2 this year. Cuz i wana do accounts, and at the same time i wana do EST. I didnt even know our school had EST untill Yijia asked me today. O.o 12 subjects sound like A LOT. Gah. I dont even know what I wana be in the future. So now im taking all the extra subjects I can, IN CASE i change my mind. Wow 12 subjects seem like a lot, considering the fact that im not an exceptionally outstanding student. :o

I dreamt of you last night. Again. I never wanted to wake up, it was THAT real. I could feel every single thing like it was really happening. I miss you. :(

Well, off to bed now. Im super tired. Lacking sleep for the past few days.

Ciao.

:D

It's 1/1/11. Time to move on.

Today. I finally, bloody finished my 33rd episode of Vampire Diaries! Hahahaha. Can't wait till the 12th episode of S2 comes out on the 27th! I never thought I'd get hooked to this series. At first i thought it was just another lame Twilight rip-off, but then i found out that the books were actually published 15 years before Stephanie Meyer wrote Twilight. Hahahahaha. So yeah. VD is better than Twilight in so many ways, especially in the folklore department. They follow traditional folklore, like the fact that vampires have to be invited into houses, they burn in the sun, stake through the heart etc. None of that shining-in-the-sun shit like twilight. Plus, the characters have so much more depth. They've developed so much throughout the whole series! And the whole series isn't just about romance. It's also about brotherhood. The series is fast-paced, something important happens in every episode, not like those draggy tv episodes you sometimes watch. Up till now, VD has a dark undertone to it, rich in mythology. It's kinda why im so addicted to it. I used to love supernatural stuff when i was young. :P

So if you guys have the chance, WATCH IT. You. will. not. regret. :)

Today is the first day of a new year.

The reason Im blogging is obvious: New Year Resolutions. :P

In 2010, I..

Sat for my oh-so-important PMR.

I worked my butt off. Literally. Went to ISC and RPGC for study groups. First time I ever cried due to exam pressure. My result?

This piece of paper:

IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF! *bangga*

Went for music camp

Heh. Music camp was a great experience and really inspired me to put more heart into my music from now onwards. :)

Lost weight.

Haha not to boast. But im super proud of my accomplishment hahaha. Not that i'd put anyone through what i went through during those diet days. Those days were hell, man. I suffered from mild anorexia and depression. And my grades dropped like anything. Im serious. Now i have after-effects. Yellowish skin, hair loss, nausea etc. But im learning to overcome them, so yeah. :P

Called my sister a bitch #%&@!(*%&@(#$&@)*@*!&#($ times

Well, in my defence, she IS a bitch. I mean, which 11 year old sister blocks you on facebook, then posts bad things about you on her statuses? She called me a fat arse on fb, for goodness's sake. And my parents are being so unfair about it. They praised her and called her clever for knowing how to block me. FML.

Got closer to my primary friends.

Yeah, well, they ARE awesome. Haha there's just this thing about the people you grew up with. It just aint the same with people you know nothing about, and you have to start from zero. I love the fact that being with them is as easy as breathing. :)

Got a new phone.

Bahahaha Samsung Galaxy 5 is so coool. Post-PMR pressie from dad. :D

Got merit for my cello exam

Haha i was expecting just a pass, so this was kind of a pleasant surprise for me. :) But im gonna aim for Distinction for my Grade 7 next year.

etc etc etc

It's gonna be a looooooong list if i dont stop here.

SO.

MY RESOLUTIONS FOR 2011.

1.Really work hard on my music. Im dead serious now. Practise more. Especially my piano. My scales are yuck.

2.DISTINCTION FOR CELLO AND PIANO GRADE 7!

3.Try to refrain from calling my sister a bitch, or else ignore her completely.

4.LOSE MORE WEIGHT. Gah i need to hit the 40+ mark. :(

5.Stop caring about ppl who obviously dont give a shit about me.

6.Try not to be so sensitive.

7.Be nicer to my family.

8.Love my friends. Try not to be so emo. :)

9.Be more responsible.

10.Work hard, play harder. All work and no play makes Carissa a dull girl. ;))

PS. Sorry for the lack of colours, people. I dont know what's wrong with my computer. Everytime i put colours, the colours just dissappear! :(

THE END.

Like falling stars

Hey all! Sorry i havent been updating for soooo long hahahaha. I've been kinda busy lately, what with christmas performances plus the school competition coming up. heh heh heh. So yeah. First things first.

PMR RESULTS THE DAY BEFORE!!

:) I was so relieved that i got the results i wanted! :))) And to celebrate, lychee and i walked to parade and kidnapped alvin to eat lunch with us. Hahahaha. And he was so nice to us you know, just let us kidnap like this. bahahhaaha. Then we saw teckshen, and i ran out and kidnapped him too. ;) Hahahahahaa. It felt great talking to friends i grew up with. It was like a breath of fresh air. We could crap all we wanted to, and never give a thought on what we were saying. Being with them is so easy. I love this about them. ;D SO yeah, after lunch we went BOWLING. 2nd time in a week haha. The guys were so pro, and lychee and i were so noob, so yeah obviously they won. == Then at night my family brought me to Citrus for dinner. I havent been there in so long, about a year, i think :O the food there is as good as usual. AND AND I SAW JUNYANG THERE. celebrating his 8As also HAHAHA. :DD

Then today.

Christmas.

My most awesome christmas ever, spent with good friends lychee wengkin and jinjie. Heh. Morning was performance at church, then buffet lunch at church. Thenn jj fetched us all to jusco for a movie. HAHAHA. The way he curses when he's looking for a parking lot is HILARIOUS. LMAO. After finding a parking lot at the FURTHEST END from the cinema, we decided to watch THE LITTLE FOCKERS. that show is PERVERTED. Im serious. Lots of dirty jokes, if you can get them, that is. LOLLOL. The whole cinema was filled with wengkin's laughter. (yeah thats my way of saying he's peverted HA). So bowling again after the movie. Damn i suck so bad. Bought a shirt and a book today. Yeah im so good at spending money i know. Then jj fetched me for dinner @ first garden, then to practice at some F2 girl's house for monday's competition. He was my personal driver today. I owe him. Big time. Hehe.

Well practice today was okay i guess. Hahahaha we didnt even have to go throught the whole song for too many times. Yay. Im kinda happy with the results of the practice. Canon is uhm, okay, i guess? Lychee. Shanying. Aikrui. Bee. Sinkit. Pengjane. GOOD LUCK FOR MONDAY! :))

Music camp + Bali

Bali was awesome! i really enjoyed the time spent with my cousins. :DD Music camp was fun tooo. I got to meet so many ppl from so many other schools. Hahaha. Im kinda lazy to elaborate, so yeah. Pics.

While waiting for a certain someone to come out from the toilet. :)

Practising for the concert. Hehehe look at xinlin. :)

our luggage and instruments backstage before the concert. :O

Bali airport. Yesh. so fat i know, but i love the flowers. :)

the villa we stayed at. so nice! :)

surfing!! :D

Before surfing. With cousin, mom and bro. :D

Pictures and everything are all on facebook, as usual. Not gonna upload anymore. Blogger is taking a hell of a long time to upload the pictures, so i'll just stop. Bye! :)

It turns out freedom aint nothing but missin' you

Hah hey peeps i havent been blogging for so looong. My holidays havent been bad at all, so far. I cant believe two weeks have already passed since the start of holidays. Spending most of my time at school for CO, practising for music camp and competition. IM SO EXCITED AND I CANT WAIT FOR MUSIC CAMP! :DD

Nothing much to blog about, really. Oh, and im going to bali tomorrow. I havent packed. I havent even decided what to wear yet. ANDI just found out my bad cat just tore a huge hole right in the middle of my swimsuit -.- i dont know what im gonna wear to swim now. Great.

Gonna stop blogging till 12th, untill after music camp. Bye, peeps. :)

Can i have a 'happily ever after?'

3P7

40 people. 40 hearts. 1 class.

3P7. So many memories. So little time. Yeah, 3 years may seem like a lot, but in truth, it passed like a few minutes, gone in the blink of an eye. It seems like one minute we just met, and the next, we've gone through 3 years together. 3 years of hard work, sweat and tears, prepping for PMR. And now it's all over. You dont go through 3 years of life with people without bonding and developing friendship and trust.

3P7. You mean so much to me. You guys gained the best part of my heart. Thanks for the support. Thanks for the laughter. Thanks for teaching me the value of friendship. Thanks for accepting me. Thanks for everything that we shared within these three years. I love you guys. Friends forever. :)