this book.

is epic awesomeness.

i kid you not.

Hello hello baby you called but i can’t hear a thing

 

you know i <3 you right. friends forever :)

Dang what is wrong with me. I do not like being noticed. I do not like being in the spotlight. I do not like people’s eyes on me. Im so afraid that I will not live up to people’s expectations once they begin to notice and expect things from me. I’d rather work backstage, be the silent helper that no one sees and acknowledges, but still an important part in the play all the same, than be the shining star that takes the front stage. Im much more comfortable like that. Dont know why, but that’s just the way i roll. :)

Mixed feelings lately. Typical Bella-Edward-Jacob story (okay veryvery bad comparism i know but i dont know what else to compare to!) First, there’s E, whom B cant' forget about even though he left her. Then J comes along and he helps B by just being her best friend, and B loves him for that. But then E returns, and B dumps J for E. Although she loves E, she still loves J, cuz J stiched her up when she was broken, and stiches like that are bound to leave a mark.

Sigh that’s exactly what i’m feeling now. I cried cuz of this that night. I told mom about everything, and i felt so much better after that. This is gonna be the first and the last time, i promise. :)

Summary of my week.

 

       I miss talking to you. So much. :/

It’s 11.35. There’s school tomorrow.

This holidays have been so much for me. It was an emotional roller coaster and a physical challenge, yet i enjoyed every moment of it. Going out selling tickets and looking for advertisements with Emilia and Faith made me realize how big a part CO is in my life. What Brenda said is so true, and i am so glad that i’ve realized it now instead of later. (:

Oh, and about you. I really wish that things could go back to the way they were before, so that i wouldn’t bombard myself with all the ‘what-if’s and ‘why’s. Maybe to you i’m nothing. Maybe to you i’m just an annoying kid who doesnt know what she wants in life. Maybe i’ve thought way too much about everything between us. IDONTKNOW. I just want things to go back to the way there were last time, before everything happened. Can i go back to February please? Sigh. :/

 

              I guess i never let you go, because in the back of my mind, someday we’ll get a second chance.

 

Half a week gone. Wow time really flies, huh. I havent gotten started on my homework yet. and I still have add maths, bio, chem, and @#^&*(@! essays to write for moral and the school magazine etc etc. D:

Monday was my theory exam. It wasn’t as hard as i expected, luckily. LOL I GOT ALL MY ITALIAN TERMS RIGHT! WOOHOOO HOW AWESOME AM I? ;DD Went to some random place in town for lunch after the paper, and saw LIP JING WEN. :O then i went to school for symphony practice. Sat in the oh-so-cold CO room with Faith chatting with Mr lim while all the others were downstairs in the stuffy hall, being scolded for not selling enough tickets. HAHAHAHA. :DD Oh then after symphony practice, Emilia, Faith and I went out to sell tickets and get advertisements for the booklets @ ipoh garden east. Man, that place was epic fail la seriously. We didnt get much donations. :/ ohoh but we discovered something nice and cheap to eat at kopitiam. ICE-CREAM BREAD! HAHAHAHA. It’s basically bread with ice-cream, but the hot bread and cold ice-cream make an interesting contrast. So yeah. try it if you get the chance. :)

I spent the whole tuesday night with my baby guitar. bahahahhaa. Now my fingers are hurting like hell cuz i forced myself to play bar chords yesterday. And i got this weird thing on my palm, which looks like clotted blood, but i have no idea what it is. :S *crosses fingers and prays it isnt serious*

Today we called the companies we went to to ask for advertisments, and YAYYY WE GOT ONE RM200 ADVERTISEMENT!!!  mwuahahaha so happy we were like jumping up and down! :D and we went out to sell tickets again today!  :DD This time Lime and Yeh accompanied us. YEH FETCHED US! bwhahahahaha she’s so cute! ;) never thought that this day would come. EMILIA AND FAITH. IT’S YOUR TURN TO FETCH US NEXT YEAR! ;D Today was awesome. We hit the 100+ mark in less than an hour! Then we went back to Faith’s house and lazed around listening to songs. :P Awww that reminds me of times so loooong ago. I havent been to her house in so long heh heh heh.

Well, as you all can see, my week so far has been ‘CO WEEK’. and honestly, i dont really mind at all. I’m growing to love it more and more. :) I cant believe that we’re leaving next year, and emilia and the rest are leaving this year! :’(  Time seriously flies, as i said at the beginning of my post. Cherish every moment you spend with your friends and loved ones, as you never know when they’ll be gone. :)

 

so deal with it.

Yay it’s 12.13 and im still here blogging.

Well, march tests are finally over. I got crappy results, which was kinda anticipated. But seriously. 40 marks for chinese? I am so gonna push myself for mid-year. :(

Upcoming events: CONCERT. PPO AUDITIONS. and this means practising like hell. D:

Been kinda emo lately. That incident happened so long ago. Why am i still regretting? Why am i still mentally kicking myself for screwing up? Why am i still wondering what could have been? ugh. *bangs head wall* Lots of thanks to lychee and shintien who listened to me crap on and on and onnnnn bout this, even though i know it means nothing to you guys. :/

I have no inspiration to blog. ciao.

I’m not human. And I miss it. I miss it more than anything in the world. But there’s only so much hurt a man can take. - Damon Salvatore

Haven't really been blogging properly since CNY eehehehe. Hell lot of stuff to do. The applications for BRATS and GYLS are driving me crazy. I feel so intimidated by all these stuff, and there are days when i think i dont even qualify to apply. :(

March exams have been moved forward to 3rd. Sukan has been posponed to june or july. NOOOO. I am seriously thinking of quitting the marching team cuz now i have sooo many things to do. Oh oh and I signed up for water polo! go meeeee i am so awesome! :DD Now i have an excuse to exercise bwahahahahaha.

Okieees i started this post two hours ago and i just wrote two paragraphs. great.

I CANT FIND THE ONLINE APPLICATION FORM FOR BRATS NOW.

shit.

gotta go google it. blog later.

ciao.

TVD

Hahahahaha TVD is getting more and more awesome every week! I am so addicted to it. :DD

Okay school reopens tomorrow and i have no idea if i’ve finished all my homework. I just sped through my homework yesterday, and i dont know if i’ve missed out anything. HAH. So much for my ‘no procrastination this holidays’ mindset. D: NOOOO I DONT WANA GO BACK TO SCHOOL!!! I bet our headmistress is gonna give us a friggin loooong lecture during assembly tomorrow. Ah well, i shall sleep then. :P

Went to ana’s house today to spend the last day of CNY. Woohooo Tap tap revenge is so fun and rachel lau is so pro at it! she practically killed me off. D: Oh, and ME ISH VERY FAT NOW! I gained 2kg during CNY, ppl. I dont think im gonna fit into my pinafore! *cries*

Random picture of me, so my blog doesnt look boring. Hahahahaha i love my baby guitar, though i suck at it. :(

So close, yet so far.

I never realized the true meaning of these words till now. Yesterday night, or rather, this morning felt like a dream. It was a really good dream, till i messed it up with my usual blundering and crapping and giving inappropriate responses to spoil everything. I really dont know what’s it about you that gets me. I dont know why i can tell you everything, even my innermost thoughts and secrets, when i usually have a mental block to protect myself from getting hurt.  You remind me of myself sometimes. It was my bad yesterday. I should have let those walls down completely. I shouldnt have been so ignorant. I shoudnt have laughed and joked about being a lesbian. IM SO SORRY AND I SO REGRET IT. I wish i could turn back time. :((

*bangs head on table*

Why cant i turn back time?

*continues banging head*

As shintien would say, WASTED.

*bangs head harder*

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT TO DO NOW?

 

 

After all this time. I thought i was over you. I was so wrong.  :(

Confessions of a Shopaholic

Hey peeps, i know it's kinda late, but

HAPPY CNY! :DD

My cousins are here, and we're all rotting at my house. D: I cant believe that we didnt go anywhere to 'bai nian' this year except at other cousin's houses. Homework still not done. Few more questions of add maths and a chinese essay to go. Wow how awesome am I?

Anyway this is going to be an emo post. I feel really really depressed all of a sudden. I have this sudden feeling to be, well, LOVED. Am i really that shallow? Is wanting to be loved such a bad thing? Am i really THAT lack of attention? ISH. *flops down onto table and buries head in hands* I feel like breaking down and crying. WHATTHEHELL IS WRONG WITH ME?! :'((

You're the only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star

i painted my nails for CNY! woooooh! SEE. They're BLING! :D

My right hand's no good though cuz i cant paint well with my left hand.

Oh well.

(oh and sorry for the crappy webcam quality guys. i think my room's too dark or something)

Tomorrow is the first day of CNY holidays, technically speaking. I still have lots of tuition homework to complete, not to mention a whole novel to finish reading before school reopens. Ugh. I dont know where i'll find the time.

Anyway. Today's chamber was awesome! :D although we cellos kept going out of tune. == Bahahaha went early to accompany wengkin to talk and yumcha. Weeeheeee. :) Blue Danube and Emperor Waltz rock! So does Divertimento! :)))

Yiyin's house for steamboat tomorrow! woohh cant wait! :)

Hmmmmm not much really to blog about. Just wanted to update here. OH AND I WANA WATCH TVD S2E12 SO BADLYYY! :( but im just too lazy to wait for it to load. heh heh heh. Well i did, actually. Then i accidentally closed the window, so, lazy to load again.

List of homework to do:

• Add maths
• Chemistry tuition homework
• Chinese tuition ESSAY. (noooooooooo)

Account tuition early morning tomorrow. I guess I'd better go to sleep now. Bye peeps. :)

When nothing goes right, go left.

It's a helluva Sunday today.

1. I banged my toe on the edge of my bed and it hurts like hell now.
2. I went breakfast-less cuz my cat played with my egg and broke it. ==
3. I had to clean up after her cuz she walked all over the kitchen with egg on her paws. LOL.
4. Mom wont let me go chamber cuz she wants to clean up the house and she's lazy to fetch me.

(Okay i dont really think the last one was really relevant HAHAHA)

So yeah. What prompted me to blog today? I dont really know, as I still have tons of homework due tomorrow. The teachers are giving homework like they think we have 48 hours a day to complete them. :/ I gave up on add maths last night, as did xinlin. It took me 2 hours to do 6 questions. :O

12.5/15 for chinese oral yesterday. I was the first one and was so nervous. And i kept mumbling like hell. Should i re-do? PLEASE. I need advice! :(

OH. I remembered what I wanted to blog about today.
Technically this isnt any of my business, but it's been bothering me a lot lately, so i shall vent here. Okay. *takes deep breath* Here goes:

iseriouslydontunderstandwhyyouredoingthis. ihateitwhenyoulietome.

doyouevenrealizewhatyouredoingnow? howmuchyouvechanged? maybeyoudont,cuzyoureinvolved. butiseeitveryclearly. doyouhaveanyideahowlongivebeenholdingbackandnotsayinganything?

ijustkeepmymouthshutcuzidontwantthistoruinourfriendship.

youknowwhoyouare.

Okay much better now. :) I wasted the whole morning talking on facebook. Thankyouu awesome friend who listened to me the whole morning and got kicked out of the game just cuz you were listening to me. (okay serious sentence structural error here. whatever) heh heh heh. I really apprecciate it :)

On to happier topics. RACHELLAU is coming back on the 1st! Hah i miss my awesome wifey so much! I have so many ppl to meet and catch up on during CNY. ONE MORE WEEK. Just one more week. :) I dont even know if mom will let me hangout. :/ Awww i miss the holidays, but on the other hand, i kinda enjoy school days. Well, minus the problems I've been facing lately. School days may be hectic and busy, but i feel like my days are well-spent, as opposed to me lazing around for the whole day during the holidays.

OH and im marching for sports day this year! Bahahaha FAITHCHAN and XUEER! GO RED TEAM! :D Our commanders are awesome. Yanning is so yeng bwahahahaha. I got dark after two hours in the hot sun. :O I wanted to be tan, but I never knew it was so effective HAHAHAHA. So yeah. No more going cap-less, sunblock-less and trackbottom-less the next time I march. Im so looking forward to sports day now. ;)

I think I've ranted enough here. Im gonna go do my homework now.

Later, people. :)

C'est La Vie

Special post for an awesome friend:

MY GAY WIFE RACHELLAU IS GOING TO SINGAPORE TO STUDY THIS WEEKEND. Dang Rachel Im gonna miss you SOOOOOOOOO much wey! I kinda wish you were staying, but at the same time, I want you to go too. Ish. Contradicting much? :( No more fashion talk, music talk, golf club study groups, cursing teachers. No more watching you fall alseep in science class. Xiaohui and I are so gonna miss fighting over you! :((( Aihh. When i go down to singapore we go shopping together kay? ;) I ♥ you LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS! :))

One week, and counting.

I survived the first week of school without any major complications.

WHOOOOOH GO ME! :D

The first week is actually orientation, which basically means sticking our butts on the cold, hard, cement floor of MPH for 6++ hours a day, listening to the counseller crap on 'sayang mama'. WTH.

But luckily most of our class is together. Classmates for 10 years, lychee and xinlin! :DD

Form four is damn tiring. Afternoon and night tuition on most days. Im already beat by the time i get home at night. I dont know where I'll find the time and energy to do homework once lessons really begin. :l

Oh,I think Im gonna do +2 this year. Cuz i wana do accounts, and at the same time i wana do EST. I didnt even know our school had EST untill Yijia asked me today. O.o 12 subjects sound like A LOT. Gah. I dont even know what I wana be in the future. So now im taking all the extra subjects I can, IN CASE i change my mind. Wow 12 subjects seem like a lot, considering the fact that im not an exceptionally outstanding student. :o

I dreamt of you last night. Again. I never wanted to wake up, it was THAT real. I could feel every single thing like it was really happening. I miss you. :(

Well, off to bed now. Im super tired. Lacking sleep for the past few days.

Ciao.

:D